Saturday, February 12, 2011

Beards, Blogs, and the Square Dance Song


… It’s been 10 months since my last post, which I think this disqualifies me from referring to myself as a blogger.

Have I mentioned that I began a PhD program at the University of Wyoming? That has quickly turned the tides. Instead of coming home from work, cooking dinner, walking the dogs, relaxing, blogging, and reading a book, I now come home from work much later (usually after a terrifying drive down US 287 from Laramie), cook dinner, walk the dogs, read scientific papers that usually make me feel like a moron, and read a book. So goodbye blogging!

Otherwise, what have I been up to? Well, I decided to grow a beard. I’m still uncertain of my motive. On one hand, this is turning out to be one of the more legendary winters of all time. On Monday I dug a 7’ deep snow pit, and this is only February. I can only imagine how much snow we’ll have up there by May! Plus, it’s been cold up there, like 35 below zero. Notice I didn’t mention C or F, because when it’s that cold, it really doesn’t matter (now, what I didn’t mention was I was mercifully enjoying 70F in New Orleans on the very coldest day at GLEES). So yes, beards and snow go good together. But apart from that, the beard is a symbol of solidarity with my comrades at UW, who do an exceptional job of playing the part of overworked, destitute, and hygienically challenged graduate students. Third, I was curious if grey hair has finally made an appearance, especially after birthday number thirty-six presented itself last Sunday. But finally, as I told my coworker, even I, sometimes, don’t mind looking like a bad ass!

So last night, as I drove US287 home through a near whiteout, I was stroking my new (and surprisingly greyless) beard, and considering the passage of time, when it struck me, I’d neglected my blog, and more importantly, I’d not celebrated the 20th anniversary of the best song I’d ever had the honor to help write.

So without further ado…

The Square Dance Song

by the Bunny Rabbits From Hell

(feel free to click the link above to download an MP3 of this legendary work of art).


To start with, if you haven’t ever heard this, then you should immediately give it a listen. Then, you should ponder the statement a friend made many years ago, “That’s just a great song.” I whole heartedly agree.

But, besides handing out accolades, I’ll take a brief moment to share the background of this magnum opus. In February of ’91 we were all sophomores in high school (except Tyler, who was a year older, and Chris Lea, who for some reason was still hanging out with high schoolers). And, as was tradition, our sophomore gym class was required to learn square dance. After several weeks of promenading and allemanding our way back and forth across the gym our teacher, Coach Harper, declared there’d be a massive square off to determine the best dancers in school.

So naturally, this was all the inspiration the BRFH needed to write a good old fashion square dance song. That night, we (Neil, Travis, Paul, Tyler, and I) settled down into Chris Lea’s basement apartment and decided to write the most ridiculous square dance song ever. We all threw out bizarre moves (I think I came up with the inverse right-left grand), Chris whipped up a tacky country beat on his drum machine, I recorded a cliché bass line, Chris laid down an even more cliché guitar riff, and Neil volunteered to sing the lyrics. I once asked him how he learned to be so good at singing such silliness, and he replied that it was from years of listening to kids sing-a-long records.

I don’t recall if we ever played the tape to Coach Harper. Certainly, none of us were crowned the MHS square dance champion.

Note, I once found a note dating this to February 8, 1991. Who knows if that’s right (and does it really matter)?